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“Green Bay Packer Training Camp” (CC BY-ND 2.0) by jjandames
These training camp articles are meant to be informative but also satirical. Both the good and bad are meant to represent the worst in NFL fans. They are real events that took place but isn’t in any way my evaluation. Now on with the show…
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I know I made a big deal about day 1 and day 2 but let’s face it, training camp started Saturday. Saturday the boys put on the pads and we got to see what kind of men they really are.
So let’s take a look as we overreact to day 3.
The Amazing
Where to even begin? The pads went on and the Packers looked to be in post season form. Whether it’s offense or defense, the men went out and put on a show. Calling the Super Bowl a sure thing might be a stretch but can we at least give them the division title?
How about we start with the safeties. No not the ones you already know are awesome, lets talk Milwaukee native, Marwin Evans and future Hall of Famer Josh Jones. Marwin, who is a starter on any other team has been biding his time on the bench behind Ha Ha and Burnett, came out Saturday swinging and helped contribute to the defenses interception numbers after he picked off Joe Callahan.
Josh Jones, the ballistic missile, proved that he wasn’t someone that looks good until the pads come on. Oh no. He’s the exact opposite. His name was hardly mentioned at all in the first two days and on day three, pads day, every other tweet is about Jones apologizing for hospitalizing someone. Never apologize for being legend Josh… Never.
It wasn’t just the safeties holding it down for the DB group, however. Raysean Pringle, you know, the wide receiver that was really a running back that the Packers converted to a corner… well anyways, he got a pick!
Also, my guy Quinten Rollins (Yes he’s my guy, see here) had himself a day. Not only did Rollins get a pick, he grabbed one from Rodgers in the endzone against Randall Cobb. This is no scout team, we’re talking the best in the NFL ladies and gents. The play was considered by many in attendance to be the play of the day with others saying Rollins had been all over Cobb the entire day and hadn’t given an inch. I tried to tell you!
It doesn’t end there, not even close. Let talk kickers. As usual Mason Crosby proves he’s the best in the game. He strutted out on the field, made 6 of 7 kicks, including a 48 yarder, and went back to the champagne room. Vogel, also came out just to prove day 1 wasn’t a fluke and smoked 4 punts under pressure for an average of 49.5 yards with a hang time of 4.5, which beats his previous freakish average. 1 punt went for 60 yards. Thanks for humoring us gentlemen.
Did you ask if I was done? Cause I’m not. Let’s talk receivers. It’s probably boring to you at this point but let’s be honest with ourselves Packers fans. Having the best passing offense in NFL history should never be boring. So let’s press on. Yancey destroyed Pipkins, Adams made of fool of King and Gunter, and Kendricks added himself to the long list of viable targets that nobody will be able to stop. See that wasn’t so bad now was it?
Almost done with the good folks. Isn’t this fun? Offensive line was another highlight. New veteran guard Jahri Evans went toe to toe with Dean Lowry and Ricky Francois and ended up 2-0. Knowing how good our defensive line is, this made me smile. Even better than that, rookie Kofi Amichia went 3-1 beating Clark, Lowry, and Price. Good to know our backups are basically Pro Bowl material.
As a final note, I’d like to give a shout-out to my guy Stanback. I know, I said Rollins is my guy but as far as UDFA’s go, Stanback is my guy. The reason? He is the definition of violence.
See? Anyways, long story short, Stanback did on Saturday exactly what I was hoping he would do and that is, destroy someone. Unfortunately Blake Martinez was the recipient of it but from what I understand, Martinez was able to get up, reset his jaw, and walk it off.
The Horrible
Before you go on believing this team has any semblance of talent, let’s take a look at some of the lesser highlights (low lights?). For starters, third round draft pick Montravious Adams decided the first day of padded practice would be a good day to sit out. I guess he hurt his foot. Maybe he needs to get larger ballet shoes. But hey, at least Aaron Peck is back…
Trevor Davis made a conscious decision on Saturday to take himself out of the wide receiver race. After a great day on Friday in which some thought he was more than just a fast guy that sucks at football, Davis felt the need to calm our nerves and assure us that speed truly is all he has to offer. After failing to catch everything that was kicked and thrown to him, he ended the day by getting hurt and limping off the field. Thanks for stopping by Davis.
Davis wasn’t the only one to decide catching the ball is overrated. Tight end Beau Sandland, a tight end that some Packers fans actually think will make the 53 man roster, felt grabbing the ball out of the air is overrated. In other words he dropped his 1 target of the year and, if he’s smart, is packing is crap.
I already mentioned how inept the corners are while praising the receivers (How is Gunter still in Wisconsin?) but left out 1 major detail. Kevin King is garbage. In one instance Kevin King made himself look foolish by jumping an hour and a half too early allowing Adams to make an easy reception. In another instance he had a chance at a 50/50 ball with Adams and lost. What’s the point of being a giant if you suck at it? But hey, at least House was seen giving him pointers… I’m sure that’ll help.
To further prove how bad the corners are I bring you maybe the best example in history. Raysean Pringle had a fantastic play against Deangelo Yancey. What did Joe Whitt do? Yelled at him! Joe Whitt is permanently angry. How could he not be? His job is to teach toddlers calculus.
As great as it was to see the offensive line continue to do what they always do, play well, the defense was not so great. In fact they were an embarrassment. Case in point, the big win by the defensive line came when Nick Perry was lined up across from Geronimo Allison. Ya Perry won the match up. Everyone, please give a round of applause to the $60 million man. I wonder if they will let my 11 year old daughter run routes on offense to try and boost the corners confidence. Just make sure not to match her up with Gunter, that could be embarrassing.
Don’t worry everyone, I saved the best for last today. The running backs. Yes Montgomery is a “dual threat” and ya they drafted a bunch of “bangers”. Unfortunately, not a 1 of them can block to save their lives. Exactly 0 of them. Montgomery, the guy trying to prove he can be a three down back, went 1-4, his lone win coming against Cody Heiman.
On the flip side, Joe Kerridge looked great in blitz pickups and Ripkowski broke off 20 yards on a screen pass. So there you have it folks, our best chance at a run game comes by way of Ripkowski and Joe friggin’ Kerridge. God help us.