These training camp articles are meant to be informative but also satirical. Both the good and bad are meant to represent the worst in NFL fans. They are real events that took place but isn’t in any way my evaluation. Now on with the show…
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It’s day 1 of training camp which can only mean 1 thing. Every reaction… is an overreaction. It’s been a long time and we all have a lot of pent up excitement, so let’s just go for it.
The Horrible
Starting with the coaches, it was pretty bland. On Friday morning (reading them as I type this) McCarthy is giving his usual, things are great, guys look good, etc. If I were to read too far into this, the one thing that’s missing is the perennial proclamation that this is the best group he’s seen in years. We may be doomed.
In terms on injuries, things went from pretty bad to absolute nightmare. To start, Vince Biegel, as we already knew, was injured and may miss 3ish weeks. As a result, our pass rush will suffer causing our secondary to be horrible, therefore, doomed.
But that was just the start. The greatest corner in Packers history, Herb Waters, seems to have injured his shoulder again. Twitter has obviously lost it’s collective mind about this and why shouldn’t they. It’s not like we actually expected King, House, Gunter, Randall, and Rollins to be at the front of the pack. No, Herb Waters is the guy that was going to fix everything. Now he hurt his shoulder. Doomed. As a side note, Waters highlight of the day was getting burned by a guy named Colby Pearson. I’m not sure who that is either. Still… we need him.
Some other cornerback highlights include Damarious Randall tackling Trevor Davis after getting torched, Gunter blowing coverage twice, Joe Whitt yelling at Quinten Rollins to press like a man (or something to that effect), and Kevin King playing scout team WR. I can think of a couple ways in which things could have been better but I’m struggling to think how things could be worse.
The running backs sucked almost equally, with 1 exception to be named later. Both Ty Montgomery and Aaron Jones fumbled. Aaron Jones wasn’t even touched! In other words Aaron Jones just found his way off the team and Montgomery most likely will not be the starter. Probably won’t even make the team at this rate. Embarrassing.
The worst news of all, however, had nothing to do with the tragic news above. Okay so the defense sucks, so what, been there before. We still have Rodgers. Okay, we don’t have a run game, what’s new. We have Rodgers! Guess what folks, Rodgers isn’t good anymore. By my count there were 2 instances where Rodgers missed wide open receivers. Over threw them by a mile. Looks like bad Rodgers is back. Buckle up folks cause this could legitimately be a 0-16 year for the Packers.
The Amazing
It wasn’t all bad. In fact, it might have been the best camp by any team ever. For example, look no further than the flip side of the crappy corners. Great receivers! Trevor Davis is still the best in the game at running fast and drawing pass interference penalties, Allison, the next big thing out of Green Bay, torched Gunter like he was nothing, and Adams not only burned Gunter, he went up and snagged the ball in a 50/50 contest. He’s ready for that next big leap into the elite category. Let’s not forget Colby Pearson, the man that beat the greatest corner in history, Herb Waters. Pearson could honestly be the next Jordy Nelson.
As far as RB’s go, forget Montgomery, he’s probably already off the team. The future is Devante Mays. The guy is already known to be a thumper but did you know he’s crazy fast? Well you do now. We all do. Someone tweeted it. Get ready to draft him in your fantasy leagues folks, it’s the real deal.
The best news of day 1, however…. punter! He’s so good! Get this, his first outing, the guy averages 51 yards and 4.45 hang time. Second set of 5, he averages 49 yards and 4.23 hang time. Overall he averaged 50 yards and 4.34 hang time. The league high in average punting yards in 2016 was set by McCafee at 49.3. Therefore, best in the NFL. Granted the hang time was below the league average which could mean he was hitting line drives but I would simply remind you to shut up once in a while.
We may not have a quarterback or a defense but with the best punter in the NFL, there is little stopping us from the Super Bowl.